Tommy Fury Fight Results: An Embarrassment, Says Jake Paul

As far as Furys go, Tommy Fury is at the top tier regarding outward aesthetic appeal. But in terms of other attributes which make for a successful pro pugilist, Tommy is behind cousin Hughie Fury, and miles behind half brother Tyson Fury.

Ah, but looks will get you pretty far in this life, so Tommy gets chances to succeed which might not be afforded to someone less genetically blessed.

Tommy Fury was heavy, so he fought an exhibition instead of a real fight

If you don’t follow “this stuff,” and by that I mean the “celebrity boxing” or “YouTube boxing” scene, then you might not know that Tommy Fury, age 23, has been set up to fight Jake Paul twice. And both times, the clash didn’t come off, because Tommy shat and pee’d the bed.

But, again, he’s a good lookin’ guy, who has a solid cadre of followers on social media, so more chances will be afforded to him to succeed.

On Sunday in Dubai, at Coca Cola Stadium, Tommy Fury got matched with Rolly Lambert. Fury came in over weight, holding an 8-0 record (4 KOs).

To be exact, Tommy Fury was set to meet Paul Bamba, but Bamba said no thanks when young Tommy came in 3.5 pounds over the contracted weigh limit at the Saturday weigh in. Bamba bounced, so Lambert (15-1-1; age 33; from Cameroon) was offered the gig, and accepted the slot as main support for the Floyd Mayweather-Deji exhibition in UAE.

😮 @jakepaul ain't holding back

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Jake Paul came out to help commentate the main event of the Global Titans production, and started dissing Tommy from minute one. He said he was surprised Tommy was fighting someone with a pulse, actually that he was fighting at all.

Lambert looked to be a fan of lifting big weights, and Fury came to the ring also looked to be a fan of lifting weights.

In round one, Jake, resplendent in a yellow Hulkamania tee, wondered why the gloves were so big. “Are they wearing 14 ounce gloves,” said Jake, who said he didn’t know he’d be commentating. And what, they are doing two minute rounds? Yep, they were. Also, it wasn’t made clear that this was an exhibition, not a real tussle. 

In round two, Jake said, “I will beat this guy” so easily, and mocked all aspects of his game. “He’s a model, he should stick to that,” Jake said. Rolly pawed a jab, they both did, and then Jake started heckling. “You fucking suck, Tommy! You have no dick,” the provocateur yelled as Fury walked to his corner to hear from dad John Fury. “This is like comedy to me,” Jake said, again irked at the touching of the gloves to start the round.

In round 3, Tommy looked to be busier. He then called Jake “a bitch” before the crowd began booing at the lack of action. “Is he winning these rounds? They’re just dancing around,” Jake opined.

In round 4, Jake noted that Tommy does have some hand speed. “I could just walk this guy down and put him to sleep,” Jake said. He aloud asked Tommy’s lady Molly why she was with him.

Molly, Tommy’s gal

Tommy moved more, looked like he was having some fun. This is an exhibition, it was pointed out, but Jake didn’t accept that as a reason for tepid action.

In round 5, Jake said, “How could you perform the same way when the crowd is booing.” More boos from some of the crowd, as Jake called the match “a dance…Welcome to the sport of boxing,” he said, and said this sort of boring stuff underscored why the boxing game is so hurting.

Rolly, it was clear from minute one, didn’t show up to look to damage Tommy Fury. “The kid doesn’t have heart at the end of the day, he’s an Instagram model,” he said. If they fight, Jake said, he might actually kill Tommy, because he’s so bad at this, Jake said.

In round 6, Tommy amped it up, as did Rolly, barely. More boos at the 35 seconds remaining in the round. Jake, sounding groggy, said he had a hard and fun week, explaining why he was quiet for a full minute.

“You wanna get in with me,” screamed John Fury, now with shirt off in center ring, after the bell rang to end the exercise. “You’re a fat, miserable old man,” Jake mocked, inviting ole John to come to him.

THE SHIRT IS OFF. JOHN FURY GOES AFTER JAKE PAUL 😱

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Then Tommy Fury yelled at Jake, who said, “This is so embarrassing..I’m right here, come over the rope!” He then slammed John Fury for “taking his shirt off and showing his ‘boobies.”

Tommy spoke after the six rounds. He gave himself credit for having the stones to meet Rolly “on a few hours notice.” Get in this ring now, he screamed at Jake. Jake told him no, and Tommy hopped halfway through the ropes. “Come to papa,” Jake said. “You wooooont, you wooooont,” he sang, and that was that.

It sure was an exhibition.

NOTE: Jake Paul then said he might fight Tommy Fury, but is worried he won’t show up. Or, maybe Andrew Tate. Also, Jake wants to do a tag team match in WWE with brother Logan Paul.