Trump Needs Foreman

By Michael Woods

You see it, maybe, as I do. With a mixture of emotions. You appreciate the comedic elements of the man, marvel at the narcissism, the alluringly repugnant grandiosity, the unfailing bid for adoration, or, failing that, gaining supply by objecting fear into the minds of foes, no matter if they were friend or even family.

But then you take a step back, see a snippet of video which centers you. They rough people up at his rallies, and he encourages it. He directs the traffic, of vitriol, usually aimed at a darkly complected being, as his pulse rises and he gains a surge of warmth, as he notes his ability to seduce people, to be misenthropes, like him.

Donald Trump is a human train wreck, a case study more than a man, fascinating to watch, near impossible to tear your eyes off of, but when you do, you feel the need for a soul scrubbing.

I find myself, when I ponder his “success,” wondering if he could be helped, if we all could be helped. Love is the answer, I think, but I doubt that slogan will overwhelm the negativity that grips so many of our masses.

I had an idea the other day, lit upon on a candidate who could help, perhaps.

We need a heavyweight savior to get Trump right, get the nation re-set on a better path.

George Foreman, can you do it?

Could you, would you be willing to parachute in and try and help provide some structure of positivity to the Trump campaign, which reeks, honestly, of contentiousness, mean spiritedness, small mindedness.

Firstly, George, have you interacted much with Mr Trump?

“Oh yes, he's a great guy! He was friends with all the fighters, Holyfield he was really close with. I'm not into politics, though. As a Preacher, it is conflicting to a congregation, telling them how you vote. I feel I should stay out of religion,” said the Hall of Famer, whose main gig these days is being a preacher, in Texas.

But, but, but. Trump needs help. His rallies are Altamont waiting to happen…

“Yes, Ali had really mean guys following him, but Ali was a prince of kindness,” he said, reflectively.

Anyway, I will continue to work on Big George and if Trump unblocks me on Twitter, I will pitch it to him.

Love is the answer, my friends.