He beat them both by the snip of a ponytail.
“Dat'll be $8,” said Eddie Murphy's deranged and gold fangled hot mess of a barber from “Coming To America” to himself in the chair. Since that fictional barbershop was in Queens and loved to talk boxing, can you imagine what would've happened if the now former WBC welterweight king Keith “One-Time” Thurman would've been sitting in that chair?
Before getting rid of Thurman's ponytail (for like $16 today), I imagine Murphy's psychotic barber..
..would lose his mind and become a problem.
“You WHAT? You gave up yo belt?? Man get cho ass outta my chair,” snapped the greasy barber, in the face of a bewildered Thurman.
“That's like getting married and paying for the divorce without ever fucking her! What chu gone do? You gone pay to watch Danny Garcia or Shawn Porter put her around their waist too ain't cha? Man go get a broom and leave Queens.”
When you're the WBC/WBA welterweight champion being confronted about a lack of defense, it's hard to be offended by the porters. That sort of happened when “One-Time” was pressed by “Showtime” LIVE and direct in front of the media, just ahead of Adrien Broner V Jessie Vargas at the Barclays Center in Brooklyn.
Thurman gives you the impression that he's a time traveler in the bathroom, coming out only when he's absolutely “shore” the coast is clear. This is the same guy (and I like Keith) who told me that he wouldn't even fight Brandon Rios in a comeback fight. Even though the guy he took the WBC welterweight title from, Danny Garcia, used Rios as a tune-up situation. The problem with PBC, Top Rank, Showtime and Golden Boy all being factioned and vindictive is, who is going to be Thurman's Rios? Mike Alvarado might get a text.
I really do wish and hope One-Time has the best recovery while finding inspiration in DSG V SSP. He'll witness a war surpassing that of his own with Porter, plus a fight that gets better as it goes along (which wasn't the case vs. Garcia). I don't know about you, but I was very excited to hear from PBC about Thurman vacating that WBC belt. Now, we've got ourselves a welterweight Leon Spinks confronting a fighter he can't stand in Danny Garcia.
SWIFT DOOMS PORTER
“I outbox, outpunch and knockout Danny Garcia,” said Porter, after failing to do any of the three against a gritty Adrian Granados last November 4 (on the undercard of Wilder V Stiverne II). During the post fight presser, it was revealed Porter had suffered a significant hand injury that hampered his performance. Shawn's a complete stand-up guy of class, who'll articulate what he feels like a man. He told us all how he felt about DSG.
When he said, “Danny Garcia has been ducking me…bottom-line”, as far back as prior to Thurman V Garcia, we had to consider that. An interview with Mark Kriegel drove the point even further. So when Porter hacked into the ring following Garcia's massive bombing of Rios, things got real, as Philadelphia went ham on Cleveland in Las Vegas. These two will already be approaching the middle rounds when the bell rings.
I think Swift beats Spinks, err, Porter. About a year ago, we saw the real rugby Shawn Porter go Clubber Lang on Andre Berto (btw, Shawn Porter V Jeff Horn would be HOT!), but Swift has more dimension in the toolbox. It's a really rough fight, but my early prognosis has DSG getting a late TKO to reclaim the WBC welterweight title. Hell, maybe “Ponytail” will even get a call from Angel Garcia and smile.