Who Won the Week? Mike Fuckin’ Tyson, the 80s Menace Threatens Comeback

A ten second snippet got the masses salivating. That is the power of a heavyweight, in particular one with the most potent package of power, charisma, and a penchant for misbehaving.

Iron Mike Tyson is 53, 54 on June 30th, but that didn’t stop peoples’ imaginations from revving up, wondering if we might see the 80s menace back in a prizefight ring. His hand speed looked nasty, his power still present. 

This mini Who Won the Week shows how the Tyson allure remains.

“It’s 2020 and Mike Tyson can still find a way to have the sports world (not just boxing world) buzzing about him,” said Abe Gonzalez. “His little 10 second clip was trending on social media and has over 9 million views on his Instagram page. Although it reminds us how vicious he was able to throw combinations, some people on social media were taking it a little too far with all of the talk of him being able to compete with today’s heavyweights. I can see a charity fight but nothing more than that. Either way, everyone was talking about the clip so Mike Tyson easily won the weekend.

“The loser of the weekend was the one that approved giving the Lakers a 4.6 million dollar loan intended for small businesses. Even though the Lakers gave the money back, the fact that it was even processed didn’t sit well with me. Let’s hope the ones that really need it, get it during these strange times.”

(EDITOR NOTE: Abe is gent, I am not of the same caliber. Fuck the Lakers. Fuck all the free money grabbing ultra capitalists who pulled this shit. Hope karma kicks every business entity that isn’t in need of a hand up a kick to the figurative groin.)

Your nominations, please, Gayle Falkenthal. “Winner: Hafthor “Thor” Bjornsson for bringing us real sports this weekend. You may know him better as “The Mountain” Sandor Cleghane from HBO’s “Game of Thrones.” He’s a legit professional strongman competitor who’s placed in the top three of the annual World’s Strongest Man competition every year since 2012, and he won in 2018.

Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson is the man to ask if you have a couch to move into your 20 story walk-up apartment building.

On Saturday morning live from his gym in Iceland on ESPN, Bjornsson, age 31, set the world record in the deadlift with a total of 1,104.52 pounds (501 kilos). He did it with ease. Mind. Blown. What’s next for Thor? He called out previous record holder Eddie Hall of England, saying he wants to face Hall in a heavyweight boxing match next because Hall ran his mouth at The Mountain. Bjornsson is 6-foot-9, 450 pounds; Hall is 6-foot-3, 362 pounds.” Bjornsson says he’s been offered a seven-figure contract by Core Sports. Hall says he’s all for it.

“Loser: Lysol. Damn, if you really could mainline this shit to kill the coronavirus, I could have made me some decent money in the stock market. The three percent uptick in Clorox isn’t cutting it.”

Who won the week, Josh Friedman? “Iron Mike Tyson by looking as scary as ever and leaving some to wonder if he should return not just for charity exhibition fights!”