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A NEW TRADITION

A Health Care Worker

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Listen to the poem HERE

A NEW TRADITION

It’s a moment of transition
It has now become tradition
Sweat mixed with tears
Wash down the drain
With Hopelessness and helplessness
With bleeding hands I fight through this
The guilt like scalding water
Confidence a cleansing rain

Discarded like old scrubs and masks
Their names begin to fade
My pounding brain
Can’t scratch the surface
To release this mounting pain

No mask to hide the dark circles
To protect all that is left
Of a mind and body ravaged
By this virus and its death

I take a bit to think about
The sleepless nights
The sacrifice
That led me here
The fear…

I never felt it
Never blinked
With grit
Determination
Never ever Did I ever think

I would be weighing my family’s health
And The images of breathless
Lonely death
Can’t turn it off
Can’t wash away
For 20 seconds
Calls From family
Pleas for help

It’s a moment of transition
Before I walk into the house
And balance fear and self forgiveness
And remember why I’m in this

To appreciate and reciprocate the
Only love I’ve felt in days
The tears flow easy
They don’t see me
Weighing life and death
And fights for breath
And begging it to please be
Kind and gentle with my family
And my patients, babies and me

So tomorrow And the next day
I can continue with perdition
The moment of transition
that has now become tradition.

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